Describe one room and you’ll know whether your details work

If you check off all five senses in your scene, you end up with a list of what there is to see, hear, and smell. But two people who walk into the same room don’t see the same things, and that very difference is what turns it into a scene. This exercise shows you whether you’ve pulled it off in your passage. You also get feedback right away, if you want it.

You probably already know that when you write a story, you should use all five senses, not just your eyes. Smell brings back memories, sound creates atmosphere, touch and taste complete the picture. But that advice says nothing about which detail is the best choice at which moment, and why. And that’s exactly where a lot of writers get stuck.

Example: You’ve had your character smell and hear something. But is that what they would notice when they walk into that room?

You think so, because you chose those details yourself. But whether they belong to this character or to just anyone is very hard to judge in your own writing.

In the exercise below, you describe the same room twice, through two different pairs of eyes, without naming a mood anywhere. Then ViaScripta checks on the spot whether that works.

First you’ll find the instructions. Then you can do the exercise yourself and get feedback right away.

Paste your text into the widget at the bottom of this page, no account needed.

Intermediate exercise: The same room, twice

Describe the same room twice, in about 175 words each time, seen by two different characters. They both see literally the same thing, but they notice different things. Never name their mood or their situation. The difference has to lie in what they take in and in what order, not in the adjectives.

• Length: 350 words
• Time: 1 hour

Learning Objective

• Practice observation as characterization, with the choice of details showing who is looking and what state they’re in.

Criteria

• Selection: what each character notices fits their state, without that state being named.
• Difference: the two versions differ in what’s observed, not in how it’s judged.
• Restraint: nowhere does it say what either of them feels or what’s going on with them.
• Stands Alone: both passages stand on their own.

Write your own two passages for this assignment. The same room twice, two different characters, and no mood named anywhere.

Paste your response below and see right away how your passages do on the four criteria. You don’t have to get it right the first time. No one’s looking over your shoulder.

Want more practice? Browse the full list of writing exercises.