Write one description and you’ll know whether you’re showing or telling

You can take every emotion word out of your writing and still be telling. Words like “shabby,” “bleak,” and “unpleasant” look like observations, but they’re judgments all the same. And in your own writing they don’t stand out, because to you, that’s simply what the place is like. With this exercise, you’ll see whether you’ve pulled it off in your description, because you can get feedback right away.

You probably know that you should show rather than tell. Not “Linda was angry,” but her hands trembling on the table. You’ll find that advice everywhere, and it’s right, but it’s almost always about emotions. And that’s exactly where a lot of writers get stuck.

Example: You never wrote anywhere that your narrator doesn’t think much of the place. But could there still be words like “shabby” or “bleak” in there somewhere?

You don’t think so, because those words feel like description, after all. And judging your own writing as objectively as possible is very hard, especially while you’re still learning the technique.

In the exercise below, you describe a room without a single judgmental word, and by the end the reader still knows what the narrator thinks of it. Then ViaScripta checks on the spot whether that works.

First you’ll find the instructions. Then you can do the exercise yourself and get feedback right away.

Paste your text into the widget at the bottom of this page. You don’t need an account.

Intermediate exercise: Describing without a single judgment

Describe a room and the person sitting in it, without using a single evaluative or judgmental word. No “shabby,” no “cozy,” no “strange,” no “impressive.” Still, by the end, the reader has to know what the narrator thinks of that room and that person. The judgment lies in what you mention and what you leave out, not in how you label it.

• Length: 350 words
• Time: 1 hour

Learning Objective

• Practice the difference between observation and judgment, with the narrator’s attitude coming through in the choice of details instead of in evaluative words.

Criteria

• Judgment-Free: there’s no word anywhere that expresses an evaluation.
• Stance: by the end, the reader still knows what the narrator thinks of the room and the person.
• Selection: the judgment lies in the choice of what gets mentioned, and in what order.
• Stands Alone: the description stands on its own, even without a story around it.

Write your own description for this assignment. Three hundred fifty words, a room and the person sitting in it, and not a single judgmental word.

Paste your response below and see right away how your description does on the four criteria. You don’t have to get it right the first time. No one’s looking over your shoulder.

Want more practice? Browse the full list of writing exercises.